Vent...

Bad habits always come back and bite you in the butt! One of my worst habits is believing people change. When I befriended an old friend everyone warned me to be careful. "Remember why you stopped being friends years ago..." were the infamous words I heard multiple times. I kept telling myself that we both were more mature, and we are now both more in the same stage of life. The friend was always there. They needed friends so I introduce them to every group I hang out with. All the B-Town groups, the post college group, and even my best friends since middle school. I didnt' know that once they introduced me to their friends I would feel guilty. I have been in denial about a specific friend liking me. The BFF saw it, mom and grandma saw it, Bradley saw it and acknowledged it, his brother saw it, and numerous girls confronted me about it. I gave my usual answer that he is just a nice guy and like that with all the girls. Katie of course pointed out everything he has done towards me and not the other girls. I am still in denial. Monday night we tried talking and as soon as the friend saw that I left my friends (which happened like this "She wants her purse and it's in my car" BFF "You can take Macee with you and I'll come pick her up when we are done") WHAT? I am perfectly fine sitting here with you!! Anywho she sees us pull up and let me tell you, I got the death look if I have ever seen one. She asks the boy if they can talk and he says sure, what's up? She looks at me, back at him and says come to my house. AWKWARD! So now he says do you want to hang out here, or me to take you back to the park...PARK PLEASE!!!! I get back and Bradley looks at me and says "NO" I reply with "What?" He goes off "Don't tell me she got in the way of you two" "Ugh...yeah kinda, it's fine" "NOOO it's not fine, what a BZ" ha thanks B but you have to say that, you're my friend! Anywho Bradley and Mark both had a little chat with the little boy so Bradley told me everything and told me to put my guard down. The next day BFF and I had plans to go to the drive in with her fam and Sunday night mom invited the little boy along since the two of us had plans for a movie anyways. Here's the kicker...I text the friend Tuesday morning asking if she was okay since clearly she was not happy about me being with him the night before. She plays it off and I had the choice to say okay good or I just wanted to make sure it's not the little boy and I upsetting you. I went with option two, BAD IDEA! I didn't see what was about to happen coming. At first she told me she had no right to get in the way of us, I asked multiple times if she liked him and finally she says, I didn't realize it but yeah I do. We talk all day about it, I tell her that I like him but I wont do anything that will ruin friendships, I also brought up that we had plans and she puts it on me to choose to go with them or put our friendship first and uninvite him. I told her I was going to go with him because we had the plans to do something this night for days and I'm not doing it with the intention of stabbing her in the back. She continues to guilt trip me, telling me I blindsided her, should have told her how I felt, and I should have known that she liked him this whole time, even though she has been going after the brother. I'm clearly upset that this is getting turned around and why is it my fault that he gives me more attention? She texts the BFF and says I want to come to the movie is that okay? She replied with you do whatever you want. Thanks BFF for giving her a taste of her own medicine. I get there and get situated on the love sac and little boy comes over and asks for me to scoot over so he can sit by me. We sit, and the friend says "Oh am I supposed to just sit on the chair?" I move to the other love sac, mom and the kids are in the truck on one, BFF and Taylor are in his truck on one and the BFF asks me to come over, I replied with my typical answer "I'm fine" She begs so I go, I get in the truck and tears start streaming. The whole movie the friend was all over the little boy. I got up to get another blanket and he asks for me to come sit by him, I rejected and continued on my way. I'm so hurt that she asked me to not do anything yet and have the nerve to hurt and embarrass me in front of my second family. I can't even get in the movie because my mind is going a million miles a minute. I text the boy BFF's for some advice and distraction. They seriously put up with so much of my crap, and they are always there! The movie ends and he comes over and makes a joke about one of our inside jokes, I look at mom and she says you know the kids are tired and have already seen the second movie, let's go. THANK YOU!!! Little boy wants me to be by him but I'm now in a lose lose situation with him and the friend. I'm going to lose one of them it seems like no matter what. He puts his arm around me and asks how dinner was and I tried to not be cold but I couldn't allow myself to act like things were normal with the friend standing there staring at me. Mom says you know little boy you are always welcomed over, but we need to go. I get in the truck and BFF, and mom are furious with her and mom apologized since she was about 30 seconds from saying something to her. Katie begs for me to give her permission to say something to the friend which wouldn't be nice and tell little boy to tell the friend how he feels about me since he didn't have a problem telling her, or Bradley. Next morning the friend asks if I would like to talk. Honestly I have nothing to say. I laid it all out the day before telling you exactly how I felt about our friendship, and about him. The reply..."I honestly have no idea where you're at or how ou are feeling but I want to know" WHATEVER we talked about it straight for 9 hours don't pull that card! Another guilt trip comes with "I felt betrayed that a friend could let a boy I have been spending time with flirt back or show interest in him" I am so frustrated...YOU HOOKED UP WITH HIS BROTHER...MORE THAN ONCE! HELLO you ruined it on your own! They pull "I would never like Mark after you have, I couldn't do that to a friend" WHOA Mark and I are totally different...it was obvious that we liked EACH OTHER not I like him and he likes someone else thing and it's been going for months and still are trying to figure things out. Anyways I finally give up. I tell the friend to go for it, he's a good guy and I get "I know, thanks!" BETRAYED just in the blink of an eye. BFF is clearly getting a million screen shots from the convo and talks to little boy without telling me until after. Him and I were in the same place, nothing serious just friends and having fun like we have. He obviously has been texting me all day and we agreed to meet tonight when he gets off work. Now the friend thinks I will all of a sudden be okay with trusting her again..THINK NOT! Speaking of Mark he text me when I got home last night saying he wanted to do something this weekend if I could fit him in..BFF and I both thought it was hysterical, talk about timing! Now the friend wants to make sure that I'm coming to girls night at her house tomorrow..Am I being immature by not going? I'm sorry I'm not the type to act like we are normal even though you stabbed me right in the back and made me look and feel like the bad guy. I didn't say one bad thing about her to little boy because I'm not that type of person but unfortunately she isn't the same. Not looking forward to clearing my name but ready to move on already! Okay done venting now! But this is exactly why I hate girls and have trust issues!